Blessings

So I have been thinking a lot about how Heavenly father has blessed me lately. This week we are going camping to Vernon. A year ago we went camping to Vernon, I was laying awake one night having a panick attack because I knew I was pregnant. No one else knew at the time, not even Dave. (even though I told him that I was suppose to start my period at anytime) I was thinking holy crap I am going to be a mom. There is no going back. I will have someone attached to me for the rest of my life. Gahhhhhhhh! I literally almost had to go outside because I couldn't breath and the walls were closing in on me. We came home and it was the second sunday and it was our turn to cook. I remember having my sisters there and knowing I had this little secret but I hadn't even taken a pregnancy test yet. After they left I took one. It of course was positive. I went outside to tell Dave. I told him and he went to high five me. Yes high five me. Not a hug. Not a kiss. A high five. I went inside. Now a year later as we prepare to go camping again, i have this little man in my life, who i just adore. It seems like he has always been here. I love his bright eyes and his "talking". I have been truely blessed by this little man and am so glad I am his mom.


Next blessing is that I can stay home. This has not been easy for me, but as I sit here with Gage on my lap, his feet up on my arm just hanging out. It will be worth it. I have been wanting to fly out to TN for months and months now. I have been waiting for a good deal on a flight because money is different now that I am not working. One of Dave's friends has his own business and flys a lot. He had a free flight that he wasn't going to use in time before it expired. He gave it to me so I can go out to TN and help my mom. This is a huge deal. A huge blessing. Next southwest just came out with a deal on flights so I will be able to go out again and help my mom. So for the two flights it is costing less than it does usually for one flight. God knows my heart and knows it is killing me to be out here while she is sick out there. He is making a way for me to go help her. Another reason why I needed to be home. I can just go at any time. I don't have to worry about taking time off or feeling guilty for leaving work or dealing with the stress of a crappy boss. I didn't know all the reasons for having being a stay at home mom. I just thought it was to raise my kids but I have also been able to watch my sisters kids as they work so hard to bring 3 more home. As much as they think i have been helping them, they to have helped me out in so many different ways. They always so they are in debt to me for watching there kids and will watch our kids, but I always feel in debt to them for helping me through a tough time in my life. For letting me love their girls.

One of the biggest blessing I will have for eternity is Dave. He has this faith that is indiscribeable. I seriously don't know why I am so lucky to have him. He knows everything will work out. He just knows. He knows that things will fall into place. He doesn't stress. He can take the small quite answers and be ok with that and know things will work out. I have to have fireworks for my answers because I am to stressed to listen to the still small voice. In the short time we have been together he knows me like the back of his hand. He knows my heart and he tries to help me. He loves me, for me.